[NetBehaviour] end of residency comments part one

[Jason Nelson]

Dearest All,

Yesterday in a most unceremonious way, I ended a strange three weeks of my life.
My residency is now over http://www.secrettechnology.com/resident/residency.htm
and honestly I feel a bit different. I never would have imagined how
much was involved
in creating twenty four different works in roughly 20 or so days. It
is strange how much a
part of your life it becomes. The notion that everyday had at least
three hours or more
devoted to creating something, finding material, emailing and
re-emailing, thinking about  what I would do that night, how I would
turn an image or sound or text into a curious and involving world. 
And it was made more difficult by a twist in  fortune
over the same time, many twists.

Having US tax problems and now tooth troubles might turn what was a once bank
account in quite literally  'nothing left". So at times one wonders
why the hell did I do this? I know we have all had those doubts as
artists. I was offered a job creating a website for an architecture
firm and turned it down to create artworks and now I am faced with
thousands of dollars of bills.

And so I imagine that many of us must wonder why the hell we spend so much time
doing something that pays nothing, certainly when we are faced with
having nothing,
at least in the monetary sense. There are those that will raise the
flag of artistic integrity,
and point towards their pure state of artistic somethingness. But
still when going to the
grocery store and counting change to buy generic brand soup, 
one has to think about other ways of existence.

Then while forcing my 1979 rusted Toyota into second gear to go home with my
prized cans, I realize that I CAN'T STOP. THAT I AM ADDICTED TO 
CREATING THESE DIGITAL CREATURES.I call them creatures because I have
these delusions that the net artworks,  the digital poems, these
interfaces are alive in many ways. That they become, once they leave
my bed, my laptop a small light in other's fingers, a curious interest
that builds and sways when people click and move within the artworks.
So I've seen ten thousand hits in the past three weeks, and I'm sure
there must be those lurking out there, peering into these sites, 
exploring the ideas, the interfaces.
  
SO I ASK. Please do send your comments along. Tell me what you think.
I might not be
able to use print outs of your comments to pay the dental bill. But at
least when the drills
start, I will have some memory to drown out the sound of bone and income.

More soon....as in the website for the residency will be updated with
your comments.
cheers, Jason Nelson