[NetBehaviour] almost a sonnet -

Renee Turner geuzen at xs4all.nl
Thu Dec 20 10:37:40 CET 2007


Hi Alan,

This is truly beautiful.  I wonder what would happen to the rhythm of  
reading if you left the lines unbroken, meaning no <br>.  The dashes  
work very well to create the pauses... they are like breathing.  I  
think without the <br> you'd get that sense of mental spiraling that  
happens when you can't sleep, but haven't quite emerged in the  
"logical" waking world.

all best and thanks for posting this piece,

Renee
www.geuzen.org


On 20 Dec 2007, at 09:59, Alan Sondheim wrote:

>
>
>
> (apologies for too much stuff - I'm trying to hold things together  
> and not
> bother you w/ therapy)
>
>
> http://www.alansondheim.org/moon.jpg
>
>
> almost a sonnet -
>
> Azure wakes up in the middle of the night, she says
> she says, well I say, I'm getting up here in Denver,
> there might be coyotes - I say, are you awake, feeling
> a bit moronic with the possibility of an 'of course' -
> she replies you have to get out of the way - I say, of
> what - of the man with the cart - what man - the man
> with the cart - I look, we're in a small room, surely,
> if there were a man with a cart, I'd see him - well he
> was behind the cart - but still - I look around, she's
> awake now - I say where did he come from - she says
> she says, from the closet - she says from the closet -
> I can't sleep, it's 3am or 4am - I say, I'm getting up,
> I rise like the dark sun of her dreams - she's sleeping
> again, I dress in the dark, look out the window - no
> coyotes to be seen, no man, no cart, no me, I walk down
> the hall, open the laptop, write this, almost a sonnet -
>
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