[NetBehaviour] The James Morris 34

james morris james at jwm-art.net
Thu Apr 30 10:10:30 CEST 2009

The James Morris 34 is the best in our line of James Morris machines yet.
The James Morris 34 is fast and... sleepy right now. Imagine listening
to a squealing noise not dissimilar from that in Public Enemy's "Rebel
Without a Pause" for eight hours long. The James Morris 34 is the best
ever yet! Combined with a marching drum beat mixed by the Aphex Twin -
for eight hours. On the plus side, you get first hand experience of how
mood changes sonic perception. Positive and negative feedback systems
allow the James Morris 34 to perform tasks no in-organic machine may do.
Collecting and stacking items quickly and efficiently before packing, at
the same time as analysing product quality. Why, at quarter to ten, the
James Morris 34 suddenly felt elated the shift was nearly over. And just
as suddenly, the squealing noise and marching drum beat sounded good and
drove him on in his productivity. If you place your head, as if resting
it, against the metal bar, the vibrations of the machine rumbling
through the body of the machine rumble on in straight into your skull
and you have a beat change, suddenly sounding like a giant's
heart-beat. The drone of the air-filtering-or-what-ever-it-was-system
was loud too, constant. As the product came down the conveyor belt the
James Morris 34 *always* resisted the urge to smash his fist into them
and punch them straight back up into the giant asshole of a machine.
Many behavioural glitches have been fixed in the James Morris 34. Many
have not. The James Morris 34 is just one machine of many in our range.
There are billions to choose from.

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