[NetBehaviour] a sitcom for xmas
dave.miller.uk at gmail.com
Thu Dec 10 16:54:38 CET 2015
Sit com about family obligations and dementia
Scene: care home and car parked in front
Scene: Inside care home
Talking to nurse…
Dad: We flew here at considerable expense (used up our air miles)
Wife: To be with grandpapa. We love him so much
Daughter: oh dearest grandpapa
Wife: And spend our valuable time with him this xmas (my god we’ve been so
busy in the lab)
Mother in law: … and because his family expect my son-in-law to do his
share (whispers: i.e. disrupting our holiday)
Daughter whispers: oh my god look at him he looks like a leper
nurse: his dementia is very severe. He doesnt know what’s happening or who
Dad: oh dear, well we are taking him out for a special treat.
Mother in law: Shopping to a designer outlet followed by a meal in a
designer restaurant. and we’ve booked a table.
Daughter: mama I want to buy that dress
Mother (whispers): I know darling, just be patient
Dad: put him in a wheelchair and we can wheel him around
nurse: maybe an hour is sufficient for him
Mother in law: Only an hour? we can’t do much shopping in that time
(whisper: what a pain!)
nurse: His dementia is very advanced now and he can’t do much, or stay out
Mother: oh we’ll be ok (whisper: he’ll have to put up with it)
Daughter: lets go
10 mins later…
Scene: in the car
Daughter: when do we get to the designer outlet?
Mother: not far now darling
Daughter: I’m bored and there’s a bad smell
Dad: what is that rotting smell? Like soil/ somebody stepped in something?
Mother in law: it’s grandpapa
Mother: he’s wearing nappies
Mother in law: Is he? what?!?
Daughter: This is gross! I don’t want him in this car
Mother in law: and now he’s fallen asleep, and he’s dribbling all over the
30 mins later…
Scene: In car park at the designer outlet
Mother: What are we going to do?
Dad: I can’t get him out of the car, he’s like in a coma
Mother in law: Is he dead? (wishes)
Mother: well our darling daughter must get that dress
Daughter: mama it’s a limited edition and they might have sold out hurry up!
Mother in law: ok darling don’t worry we’re sorting it out
Mother: And the smell… oh god
Dad: I can’t move him…
Mother in law: Let’s take him back
Mother: Yes let’s
Mother in law: smiles
Scene: inside the care home
nurse: back already?
Dad: yes he’s asleep and … I think has had a toilet related accident
nurse: oh that’s normal
Mother: So we’ll leave him with you… ok?…bye!
Mother in law: bye… and oh happy xmas!
Scene: in front of care home, driving off fast in the car
Mother: Please open the window
Mother in law: Now we can do our shopping in peace and relax.
Daughter: And go for that meal! Yes I’m famished
Dad: And no-one can say I didnt do my bit
Mother: That’s true.
Mother in law: Now - let’s get on with our holidays!
Daughter: Yes let’s !!!
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