[NetBehaviour] La Cura: possibilities?

xDxD.vs.xDxD xdxd.vs.xdxd at gmail.com
Fri Jun 3 22:11:13 CEST 2016

commiseration comes from latin

CUM=with MISERARI=misery,compassion

which means "to cry for someone else's misery"

which is a concept and gesture which may have multiple meanings and, most
of all, intentions, and which different people may interpret in different

so I will only speak about me, and not try to make a general statement of
any kind

as much as I understand and feel grateful for the fact that someone shares
my difficult moment, I also try to discourage it

I try to be delicate about it. Because, as I said, I am also truly grateful
about this type of behaviour.

My family originates from the deep south of Italy, from Calabria, the tip
of Italy's boot.

Calabria has greek origins (there are places in which Grecanico, a language
which is practically ancient Greek, is still spoken). As such, the
"tragedy", and its feeling and expressive style, is strong. The lament, the
crying out loud, the desperate scream are things I know and also learned to
appreciate, as they are participation, ritual, catharsis, instrument and
way to shock (even physically) to overcome and to achieve different states
of consciousness.

It can become an instrument, a quasi-trance like state which induces
reflection and the possibility to reset, with time, the context, bringing
up "what's next" in energetic ways.

What I discourage is downward spirals and the concept of "acceptability".

"acceptability". Many times we show "commiseration" because we don't know
anything better to do, and also because we feel that this is the
"acceptable" thing to do.
This can be a lack of imagination (about what is "possible") or of
engagement, and sometimes even of sense of participation. "i'm sorry" Stop.

And then there are the downward spirals. "Commiseration as an instrument"
is not a given. Just as saying the rosary used to be something that people
did to achieve a state of meditative trance and now it is something you do
to "consume". (oh, well, I don't want to generalise... it is just to give
an idea).

For similar reasons, "commiseration" consumes.

And consume is another interesting word, again from latin

CUM=with  SUMMA=end, perfection
CUM=with  SUMERE=to take, to take away, to finish

which points in the direction of achieving a state of end, of "perfection",
of "finished".

which, of course, as we know for example from "consumism", cannot exist, if
not in our death.

That's a potential downward spiral pointed towards constant unsatisfaction
and need to increase the speed with which you consume.

Resulting that it consumes you.

This is why I personally discourage commiseration, because it consumes both
the one which is commiserated and the one which commiserates.

and, of course, it's just me


On Fri, Jun 3, 2016 at 9:01 PM, Edward Picot <edward at edwardpicot.com> wrote:

> Salvatore -
> Thank you for your answer to me - but thank you even more for your answer
> to Annie, which is just fantastic!
> I wanted to ask you about commiseration, though. Somewhere - I'm not sure
> if it's on one of your websites or in one of your TED talks - you mentioned
> about all these people getting in touch with you, but none of them
> commiserating; and from the tone, I gathered that you see this lack of
> commiseration as a positive thing. Can you explain a bit more? Do you feel
> that commiseration forces you into the role of helpless patient - 'Patient
> X' as you put it - and stops both you and other people from doing anything
> creative and positive about your illness?
> - Edward
> _______________________________________________
> NetBehaviour mailing list
> NetBehaviour at netbehaviour.org
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