[NetBehaviour] SELECTED CURICULUM VITA

[Alan Sondheim]

SELECTED CURICULUM VITA

Picture goes hear! Find the CHICKADEE!
http://www.alansondheim.org/aud16.jpg

"ALAN SONDHEIM"

Address: none (I Go from "Room to ROom" HA! HA!)
Email: offline (now, when you read this! (CONUNDRUM!)
Job: CONUNDRUMMER! (HA!)
Phone: Cellphone: none "worth speaking into"!

EDUCATION:

Stupid person with no head.

BOOKS (trade and small press):

PHONEBOOK hahaha. They don't exist.

CYBERSPACE:

Post-digital! SO STUPID!

URLS:

deadman.humingbird.org - ha ha it's not there!

On-Line and Off-Line Publishing related to Cyberspace:

It's all in my head and you can't have it. HA!

CONFERENCES AND TALKS:

Brown University, Interrupt Festival, got interrupted!
The Conference of ME! HA! HA!

MISCELLANEOUS (Cyberspace):

It doesn't exist. I don't exist. Everything I do has a purpose!
I do!

CURATORIAL/EDITORIAL:

My own biography, the BIOGRAPHY OF DEATH! So Stupid!

ARTISTS/WRITERS BOOKS:

None! Just love the category! Please publish me now! Book I:
2017!!! Not much time left!

FILM/VIDEO SCREENINGS (* = solo or duo show):

No one likes the "Moving Pictures" and the "Moving Picture Show"

EXHIBITIONS (* = solo):

Rocks and dolls! In a bookcase (I don't have books)!

ARTICLES (See also Cyberspace):

"a" "the" maybe "some" HA HA HA!

MUSICAL RECORDINGS:

Burp! Wheeze! Harrrumph!

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE:

Burp! Wheeze! Harrrrrumph! (extra "r" for the performance!)

LECTURES, FORUMS, ETC.  (See also Cyberspace):

"What I Don't Know" - anytime you want to listen to me yammer!

CDROMS:

Ha ha ha ha, fooled you! They don't exist!

SELECTED RECENT FILM AND VIDEO:

I don't hanker after anything "that moves."

SELECTED COURSES:

I've never learned anyone! With a brain like mine! But something
along the line of copy ediiting would be nice!

GRANTS  (See also Cyberspace):

You got to be kidding! I don't GIVE MY MONEY AWAY!

TEACHING (see also SELECTED COURSES below)

Full Time:

Should be called "fooltime" or "foodtime" HA HA! NONE!!

Part-Time:

I'm a lifelong learning person now and I SHARE!

REVIEWS  (See also Cyberspace):

Just me on me! And by the way cyber-anything is dead! (Digital
nothing lasts FOREVER OR FIVE MINUTES!)

MISCELLANEOUS:

I'm good with animals! I'm raring to go (rearing to go!)
(reading to go!) with whatever job you have in mind! Hire the
mediocre (that's ME!) NOW! (That's now!) I can be FONED!
Anything else you want to know, LET ME KNOW (and I'll etl you
know!) Proofread that!

---:

Thank yuo for reading my RESUME! I AWAIT to hear you!

- Alan Sondhim, @ (cool, eh!) the above ADDRESS!