[NetBehaviour] ((( zazou11&12&13&14 )))

Alan Sondheim sondheim at panix.com
Tue Dec 4 07:55:40 CET 2018

((( zazou11&12&13&14 )))


for Natalie MacMaster and Jerry Holland and Ashley MacIsaac and
so many other amazing Cape Breton fiddlers i'll never know but i
do know they'd despise me, realize i have no talent whatsoever,
that i can't play in tune, that my bowing is miserable, that my
intonation's godawful, that my timing's nonexistent, that my
musicianship is unbelievably bad, that my rosin's all wrong,
that my stance is ridiculous, that my violin is from the dark
ages of violins, that my fingering's absurd, that i haven't the
slightest clue as to how to hold a bow, much less move it
somewhere, that my squeaks undermine anything i might have
considered doing in terms of really playing something that
someone might at one time have wanted to hear if they were
tone-deaf, that my attempt to even play the instrument is
arrogant and pompous, that my double-stopping might as well be
two single-stoppings, that's i'm basically confused about the
instrument, that my musical ability is laughable, that my
playing the violin upside-down is nonsensical, that my idea of a
song is a horrific jumble, that my audience is nil, that the
very idea of holding a violin the way i do just indicates my
total inability to comprehend the instrument or any other
instrument for that matter, that my self-deprecation is truly
deserved, that someone, anyone, should take the violin away from
me, that the bow is a luxury i should never have been given,
that the very notion of me on a violin spreads laughter and
disdain from the gods and goddesses who care about such things,
that the notes i play are crimes against humanity, that global
warming couldn't come soon enough for the likes of me to taste
the smoky fires of tuneless noisy hell, that a tin whistle would
be more than i could handle, that i sound as if i'd contracted
some sort of horrible anti-musical disease for which there's no
cure, that my music is a disaster for the rest of the world, as
if the rest of the world didn't have enough trouble, why i

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