[NetBehaviour] The Gray Space of the True-Real

Alan Sondheim sondheim at panix.com
Sat Dec 14 17:39:53 CET 2019

The Gray Space of the True-Real


It's 6:13 in the morning and I have a temperature of about a
hundred degrees Fahrenheit. And I've been shivering violently for
about the last half-hour and hallucinating at the same time. The
hallucinations were strange. They consisted of being with David
Clarke and I knew it was David Clark but he had a different name
and we are in this great grey almost gymnasium or airport hangar
space that went on for a great distance. It was a building inside
of a building and David said that he couldn't stay that he had
this thing that was happening to him where he would come back
into the space to our space real world for a time and he would
try to hold on to the real world and then he would disappear. And
as he was telling us this he was as he was telling us this he was
disappearing and then he would appear again and when he started
to disappear we would try to hold on to him or to bring him food
so he had a different name and I was with somebody else who I
can't remember but he might have been somebody for my childhood
so I wasn't a dream I was wide awake and this other person was
also trying to hold on to David and this just kept happening he
kept disappearing and then I started shivering even more
violently and as you woke up next to me and I'm still in a state
now of shivering and I have no idea what was going on. But what
was happening was happening for maybe a half hour or so I was
very consistent and this great set of Twilight space where
features were not that this thing they were sort of indistinct
and it was as if they were some kind of I don't want to say fog
but it wasn't cuz it was clear it was some kind of like sheeps
s h e a f s of perhaps fog know it wasn't fog of maybe some
material that was in the way and right now its 6 16 in the
morning Friday morning the morning after the vote on brexit and
I woke up to the extent that I got out of bed and went for the
phone so that I could dictate this. This strange thing was it
wasn't a dream and it didn't seem to be a hallucination and I
don't know what it was and I don't know why David Clark had a
different name through this which he did but as I said I knew it
was David Clark. I also want to record this is the first time
this has ever happened to me. (dictated)

The gray space I was kind of twilight but not dark enough blue it
was just gray and it must have been like I said huge gymnasium
something just kind of a blank space and then there was you go
down in the space Maybe 50 feed and there was a table and next to
the table was what it look like I do or sometimes and that's
where David was David Clark but it was the table and then it
wasn't a fancy to wear it was just sort of like an abstract the
door and door was open and I would try to reach in and grab David
and stop him from disappearing and I wasn't really able to do
that but it was nothing else in this space and we tried different
times to do this in different ways because he had no food and we
wanted to get him food we bring the other person I was with who
reminded me as I said of someone who was with me either when I
was maybe I had like Wyoming Seminary or when I when I was at
brown but young very young and we're trying to hold on to him and
he had a cell phone with him or something and he kept trying to
press the button to see if that would stop him from disappearing
but it it didn't really it just disappeared but it's as if it's
loaded up 4 maybe 5 or 10 seconds that was all and this went on
and as you just pointed out it's Friday the 13th. There's no
story behind this this is just what I was experiencing I've only
had one other hallucination in my life clear hallucination and
that was in a situation where I stop someone from hurting herself
in real life by rushing to a telephone when I knew something had
to be done but this is very different I don't know what's causing
this. I just wanted to get all the details down before I forgot
them. (dictated)

That situation where I stopped someone from hurting herself was
true and very real and two weeks later I predicted where someone
would be stabbed the same way and it was also real. (written)

I just remembered that the other person in the hallucination that
I was with was I think somebody named Lyle Fain and he was he
recording engineer for a first album back in 1967 or 68 and I saw
him once recently just once. But in the dream he was wearing set
a brown shoulder bag and so blue and yellow and brown outfit and
was was somewhat short and stocky and it look like kind of
slightly rugged outfit and he was usually standing to my left
when I was going through this and we were trying to figure out
what to do. I still don't remember the name that David Clark was
called in the hallucination but it was definitely David and it
definitely wasn't his name (dictated)

I think it was to my right he was standing. (written)

Then when I rose, and now I'm typing this directly, I thought
that the experience was ordinary, there was nothing odd about it,
nothing that seemed imaginary. It was real, it was in a sense a
poor experience, it had no colors, nothing magical occurring, it
was just there, the way any other experience, perhaps on a rainy
foggy day, would be there. (written)

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