[NetBehaviour] Pinecone and Stirrup

[Alan Sondheim]

Pinecone and Stirrup

http://www.alansondheim.org/vertig.jpg

So last night I had a severe dizzy spell or a sense of
vertigo. Everything in the room was swimming around and
tilting and I became scared. I've been dizzy before - everyone
has - but not to this extent. This was something I'd never
experienced before. Azure was wearing a bathrobe and there was
a design on the bathrobe and the elements in the design which
if I remember correctly were flowers were swirling around on
their own. When I tried to focus on the room the room would
tilt one way or another. I became frightening frightened. I
took a pill I think it's called meclizine - It's designed to
help with dizziness. It didn't seem to make any difference. I
didn't know what to do. I closed my eyes. Now here's the
strange thing. When my eyes were closed I opened them very
very slightly and on the left-hand side of the room I saw an
enormous pine cone. The pine cone was almost invisible it was
very dark gray with white outlining the protrusions a little
bit and it was out of focus and it was against a very very
blurry maroon and black background which had no detail
whatsoever I didn't know what to do. I moved my head to the
right and then I saw against the same background closeups of
ancient Chinese terracotta warriors. In particular they were
close-ups of the flanks or rather the underbelly of horses
with legs and stirrups of an unusual design. These were done
in a lighter orange tan against the darker Black gray
background and everything was out of focus. When I moved to my
eyes I could see different parts of the terracotta warriors In
fact I might have only been one warrior I'm not really sure.
But there seemed to be others in the background They were
statuary They weren't moving They were from the archaeological
site. I didn't know what to do I looked back against pine cone
was still there on the left and the close-ups of the horse and
the warrior stirrups and the legs were on the right. I can
make no relationship between these objects except they both
appeared. They didn't seem mystical at all and they didn't
seem to have any connection with anything except to what my
brain was generating I would say mind is generating but I'm
not sure that I can make a distinction and this seemed to be
something that had to do with neurological issues. I was
really frightened at that time I learned into the bathroom
with Azure holding me up and I looked around use the bathroom
came out of the bathroom got back into bed and didn't close my
eyes. Sooner or later of course I did. The odd thing was I had
just finished reading a novel and I read maybe a hundred Pages
before I thought I was going to fall asleep and I have no
problem at all with dizziness or anything else it just seemed
like a normal night. And all of this began and I keep thinking
even now what is the symbolism of the pine cone and the horse
the Terracotta horse ridden buy a Terracotta Warrior with
terracotta legs and a terracotta stirrups. I have no idea what
would have brought these two mind. There was nothing in my
reading that day or for the past week that I could imagine
would have brought it either of these things to the
foreground. At this point I'm both frightened I'm confused
while at the same time fascinated by what these objects were
and what made them appear at this time. So this will have to
do for an entry into the creative diary that is also my work
that usually results in pieces that this time only result in a
Meandering description that I will put an image above in order
to create hey kind of fixity to the text. But it's not a piece
it's nothing but a reminiscence of something that happened I
don't know maybe 20 hours ago maybe less because we went to
bed at 3 a.m. in the morning and that frightened me no end.
Now I will look for that image.

I do want to add only one thing that this is the result I'm
sure of something related to or to being here under full
quarantine as much as possible. The novel had nothing to do
with any of this, it was carl hiaasen. We move about as I've
mentioned many times before in a thousand square foot space
and that innocent has become my world. We go out real early
maybe once or twice a week. We walk around the neighborhood
avoiding people and the neighborhood is parking lot. That's
about it so this imagery is occurring and it kind of plateau
of sterility. And this seems to be the result of the virus.
Within a month or two I should be able to get we should be
able to get are vaccinations and that might change things
radically at the moment I'm still under the Aegis of pine cone
Stirrup and horse.