[NetBehaviour] despair slow play from mr. armageddon

Alan Sondheim sondheim at panix.com
Sat Oct 31 17:23:30 CET 2020

despair slow play from mr. armageddon

https://youtu.be/EVRBN53-cGo (sound with still image, earphones)

waking far too early again sleepless and then playing my slow
morning music, almost never recorded, this just goes on as an
untoward constant, you hear, play as background ululation
through newly opened pores in my skin, all hope and despair
became one it, I wouldn't have said it. was despairing at that
point of sky, great slabs; can cut them with a gesture despair.
Through the dim dark night by knight's armor there encourage
temper resulted mental, physical, despair), stay way, please
afterwards lights secret sexualities going jealous date; get one.
feared, stonewalling, S. darkness. At blankness, NYC, afraid
useless isolated. not out his him, disappear Cheri went me from
didn't another complexity is reduced sleepless night. book
relatively cashless existence. are moments exaltation as distant
shores glimpsed. so what do we offer besides you tap into sense
perhaps absolute or That Azure will tire depression, regrets,
age, .s, but screen Buddha, emptying out. No would inexorable
march bee Heidegger, Dasein this even. inconceivable loss memory
erased going-away heard, there, their bare been harping on more
how deal absolute." tinction, writes about nuclear war, disease,
ozone layers, poll between states. shifting toward frustration,
depression small psychological meanderings create only ignorance
want it ... always depth despair? dead-male:always
despair:Alan:skull:vacant-gaze sounds like pinned down stated
envious greedy 10: takes drowning unknown height write war anger,
mutilation began grace kindness. Think night, it's fortune,
alone, pure I'm fucking dying, yet kill myself, But above beyond
foreclose "here thing, despair." wabi sabi, worn sailings We
ourselves difference despair; desire, meaning ing._ situation
very different desire looked compassion; she hopeless he saw

although possible anger unix, truth, longing, noise: parasitic
content. enjoy, enjoy. course sinjar amazement musical
improvisation, exhaustion, shuddering high-speed cura saz
break/silence, umm kulthum mastery mines delicacy fearing,
despairing, raving. despair... can't afford.. frustration
resources madness mathematics single computer evening felt 'even
' waiting wasn't lie familiar manic-depressive. artworld born
unknown. back. attention. ball smoldering 93 night/this morning,
I've work, tears perhaps, longing last leads disgust, internal
violence. good meditating and/or keeping bedside. Re/presentation
relation 'cruelty' these words horror.  don't continue certainly
horror cheri fuck succeed used. heard word "fuck." totally first
fortifications language fortification sexuality darkvideo/
endlessly speeds lost-body-skins Your feelings, Heroin currency
drug know; most we're hear bowl food, now reigns, & arms Of seen
before, miracles (harboring (despair), washed-out is\ hempe\ n\
grep a/char >> i, surface spews, seethings, other construction
Nikuko-oozing, Noh medieval theater; pretend Alan_S flood avatar,
deadatar... despair" told 1010 11013 82747 2126 15583 sane every
alignment atoms intention lose me. wings whose neighborhood,
homelessness rise, basketball, swimming, diving, hoping, search,
sea way effect leaner, sound sealed airplane emissions senses
hitting her"  dheim, distinct directory, 21st century 22nd fast
kind move came: buffalo: signifiers. assembled debris. but:
meaningless. relegation noun. noun limitation verb. sentence
abandonment. building Dean Street falling We're producing
breakdown, anomie? does sleeplessness. lay responsibility;
ill-health stories recounted citizens twin constancy blows
away.it's longer them. serious chills un/natural (wrote nite Fb,
apologies despair) ( code )

if: anguish, themselves, real grieving senses: dispute, misery
storm enveloped fourth heater, chattering tech returns breath;
access breath's that's summation dreary slate] full] coverup
[this despair] [futility] [gone] [but [i've ili ] [ [fu urn up]
[forge rash] y] [bu out] won't [forget [i this] [i'm [trash]
page] [it's hardly [me] got [particle page notice] given
facebook] identity] [brutality] water] [can understand know that,
realistic anything particular, up, put news tired. My control
crazed adds tired matter bed hours' sleep. diet may helping.
heavy-duty trump territory now, coal-country pathos regrets
insomnia azure burn t various again; floors needle! sazzz
disbelief. act maelstrom hidden lines guns, own brutality. say,
tied utmost tending intervals holding proper position, here
|   particular famous
clean = bronzedrum techne, terz schisms intruder place called
water-born poisons; memories' maelstrom, committees manque jetlag
whisper armies chill air brutal prisons abject material
compassion, cries, exaltation, day */flute oh already, imminent
Valley produce originated

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