[NetBehaviour] reading, fasting

Alan Sondheim sondheim at panix.com
Mon Sep 28 21:50:27 CEST 2020

reading, fasting



Yahrzeit candle in its early life
i am an early riser
no religions will save us no ululations mourning becomes electric
some Buchenwald
across the cantilevered world
some Talmud
takes refuge underneath the table
where boarders of atonement lie within me
always already before my time
listening to nothing
weighing heavily this dark gray mourning
some Torah
and so forth
some Primo Levi
some Prelude to the Holocaust, November 1938
seeing nothing seeing our fruitfly is black
she crawls across Simon Wiesenthal The Sunflower
underneath the table disappears we await her
some Wiesenthal
the dull sky the racism the epidemic the fascism
listening to nothing i say i drink i sleep
never closer never farther father
never farther never closer mother
i breathe Amery and the limits Arendt Jabes Levinas
Celan Levi
the doctors
the dark traversals i flee from secrets and fires
liquids no solids the pills no wait something to breathe
something not to breathe to flee something to fear
the illuminations of the secrets of conspiracy and heavens
the patients
the skewed elections the lies the conspiracies the fabrications
where i think Baraka and my disordered relations
and i never knew my neighbors
where i am out of borders to cross
the illuminated keys of the computers and the secrets
peers under Amery At the Mind's Limits
some Leviticus
the mothers spoke thus
some Kristallnacht
we await her presence in the present
always sleepless gray day
some place some body
some Amery
some Nehama Leibowitz
early memories and no time like the present
annihilation to the limit what have i done
too much Genesis
too much in the beginning
fallback the quenching of desire
now here i am in this prisonhouse of fasting
ready for nothing
burrowed in useless history
fires next time are now
dis/ease take us dis/ease devour us
we are always history we are always


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