[NetBehaviour] Solfege, Narcissus

Alan Sondheim sondheim at panix.com
Wed Aug 25 19:26:18 CEST 2021

Solfege, Narcissus



Da da da.. da da da da da ra ra ra ra ra da it's not a?a LA da
ra da da da da ba ba na DE LA sa it's not a sorry Gama
padanisa sari Gama PA Johnny's South become my part on this
sorry I got my part anisa sorry for my part I'm sorry, it's
sorry, part on the Saudi Gama PA da Nissan da Isla sorry I got
my pot on this it's already got my pot on you sorry cona con
hobby sorry God I'm lot I doubt sorry God my so I got my gum I
got my gum Sorry gum I sorry gum sorry gum sorry gum I gum
sorry gum I'm sorry I'm a Sarah zaragama saldanisa sarigama
Sarah Gandhi sasori Gama padanisa sauregama padanisa sauregama
paryou saw sari Gama pardon Lisa sari Gandhi a parnassit's the
partner seeder sorry Gama part on the suck is papa donissa
sorigama pop big on my PA Donnie song It's all sorry gum hot
on is Johnny so sorry God is saureka maldonado Madonna saw
sorrow Sorry Gama PA song it's a sorry Goma PA Donnie saw you

Narcissus write Echo for Themselves


This is this morning for me . I wouldn't know where to begin .
Too many people I know are going through mental difficulties,
are suffering, are dying, more people I know are hurting
themselves just in the act of waking. I don't know whether it's
possible for everyone to get help from everyone . Many of my
classmates have already died from high school . From college I
remember many and know very few now. I wonder why when I'm
dictating this sometimes there is a break between the end of the
sentence and the period and sometimes there is not a break but
the two are run together . Do I have to speak faster to ensure
that my life lasts longer ? Is this not something which is
already played round as if in a centrifuge going over and over
the same grounds which is a sign of neurosis, and insanity karma
? Or should that be more or less taken for granted granted .
Should I sing this . What happens here is the dictation fails me
and when it fails me my speech itself my thinking drops away
into the abyss. Should you never read this you will have read
this you wake every morning . I wake every morning thinking of
inconceivable loss. I pull myself together and work on a text .
Sometimes the images bring me back to life because they take on
a world of their own leading everyone outside of themselves.
Despair knows no grounds. Despair circulates within itself will
send in neural networking of the brain going round and round
endlessly , ceaselessly , without a moment's rest. My thinking
becomes derailed. COVID has derailed all of us . I load in this
dictation the COVIBlock that out . I note in this dictation that
COVID is already capitalized that the new world a new word has
it entered into this almost like a virus attacking language
itself . Language is not a virus. Language kills but in other
ways. There is always a cry in the dark, always the last whimper
always alastor reaching out , alas site . I last memory
struggling to make itself felt before the darkness descends.
When we're younger we always think that there is a bridge to the
future and that we will be able to accomplish wonders including
a better understanding of everything around us . When we get
older we realize there is no understanding. What we are faced
with always already is the incomprehensible. How boring I write
now . How trite . How boring. I wake up crying in the midst of
the incomprehensible. We are slated to travel across the country
and visit good friends and those who are suffering . so much of
this has been canceled out . i write period and say period i
write period and wrong period . the world ends in anguish . Is
it difficult or impossible to feel sorrow for everyone ! Is
sorrow even possible? Is an exclamation mark the same as a
question mark ? Can I exclaim in sorrow that anguish is
inconceivable ! The life goes out of the life and flames and
this is written for people I know now who have passed away or
people I knew then who have passed away . Sometimes it's a word
from afar. As I grow into that, afar approaches and the _a_ of
Sanskrit attaches itself to everything and everyone I know . I
would have attached my failures here, the loss of good friends
who have given up on me, the deaths I know from afar , the
difficulty of just rising in a waning sun . But those good
friends are gone ; still alive and having deserting me are
having wonderful times I no longer dream of . Alas this is a
fiction is it not ? Tell me good new news .


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