[NetBehaviour] Holidays

Alan Sondheim sondheim at panix.com
Fri Dec 24 17:21:34 UTC 2021



"A year touched by sadness and certain family tensions" - not
only the Queen of England, but ourselves here under dark and
darkening skies. The grey gray sky is deeper still, intense,
endless. We pray that the James Webb telescope will succeed,
will look back, send back, return anything but ourselves to
ourselves. We need a break from ourselves, from our own
microbiome attacking and under attack. Meanwhile here on
earth, my own family's broken, and this seems to be the case
for so many of us. I take responsibility for that, but never
entirely, how can that be for any of us when communication
ends and nothing returns through the portal of grace which I
among others have dismantled, dismembered. Nothing can be
retrieved anywhere from parts; everywhere you look in the
blank shield, only blank returns. In Providence we are deeply
alone, except for one or two friends. On the street and under
overpasses and in the scrublands it's far worse. I would say
be kind, but of what kindness do we hover within, our plague
increases daily here, setting new records. I would say this is
the compression of the irreal in a season of impossibilities.
I want to write, Dear Kant, what new categories, what roams,
what is reason. This language is unreadable. Every age has its
apocalyptic horizon; this time born and borne by extrapolation
and science, it already present, eating away at the biosphere.
Family tensions, cancellations, are imminent and immanent;
they may consume us, destroy us. We are peeled, peel
ourselves, from the core of who we are; we look back, are both
horrified and full of wonder. Early worlds with their glimmer
of hope turn dark with the encrustations of disease and
disappearance. What now, Dear Kant, Dear Queen? Move the mouse
and draw a blank. Zoom, call, return, be kind as you can be,
be more than kind, be wise. More than gifts, holidays are for
reflection, for those of us left behind.

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