[NetBehaviour] selfish truths dead music

Alan Sondheim sondheim at gmail.com
Sun Mar 13 17:20:58 CET 2022


Hi Edward,

I think "we" have a primitive instinct, perhaps, to think things through,
almost a form of prayer.
As if speaking the unspeakable is curative, tends toward cure. I'm also
debilitated, in a way,
by not being able to let go, as if I'm haunted by holocausts, as if the
worst in people, on a
massive scale, somehow defines us. It's so easy in a sense for violence, on
a large scale,
to occur. Maybe the good and creative things in my life are tied to these
thoughts, I don't
know. I write to try to write out of them, certainly, perhaps a form of
saying Kaddish. I
certainly don't want to bring anyone down; I think the music, for example,
that I've been
putting up, at least for me, is a form of aspiration towards healing, just
as a funeral is also
a gateway perhaps.

It does come down to the roots of prayer, to the idea of language itself as
performative.
And there can be a beauty in that, as there is in the Kaddish (written in
Aramaic, not
Hebrew), that is somewhat healing -

(Btw looked up Patel - oh my God! (another prayer!) :-) )

Thank you! Best, Alan -

On Sun, Mar 13, 2022 at 11:32 AM Edward Picot <edward at edwardpicot.com>
wrote:

> Alan,
>
> It's good to see you responding to this stuff in the Ukraine, and I
> think you're probably echoing a lot of the things the rest of us are
> thinking and feeling. There's a sense of helplessness when we look, and
> a sense of guilt when we turn our eyes away and focus on anything else
> for a while. There's a feeling that we ought to be constantly thinking
> about it and talking about it, but also a sense, as you say, that to do
> so is merely self-serving, because it doesn't actually achieve anything
> except striking an appropriate posture.
>
> I think we do have to try to find adequate responses if we can, but we
> also have to carry on with/reaffirm the good and creative things in our
> lives.
>
> Today my son mentioned to me that he thought things must be improving in
> the Ukraine, because it didn't seem to be in the news so much. And
> that's part of our problem in the West: if it's not a headline, we think
> the problem must have gone away. That's part of the reason why we find
> it so difficult to deal with environmental issues.
>
> What I find particularly distressing is that our Western politicians are
> following the same populist behaviour-patterns as Putin - claiming to be
> doing one thing, while actually doing something completely different.
> I'm thinking of Priti Patel and her behaviour towards Ukrainian refugees.
>
> Edward
>
> On 3/13/22 3:54 AM, Alan Sondheim via NetBehaviour wrote:
> >
> >
> > selfish truths dead music
> >
> > video (audio) https://youtu.be/oLGWkWFC_bA
> > http://www.alansondheim.org/loss.jpg
> > st
> > wartime - anything i say is self-serving
> > it's inconceivable we cannot annihilate the ego
> > all the world says me me me and says useless
> > the world is iron yes. iron survives
> > terror of rust dirty bombs sinter
> > luxury of surviving despair intact bones
> > luxury of speaking yes it's luxury
> > annihilation to the limit at a distance breathe
> > people trying to get out i sit here look look look
> > people on television playing football no sound now
> > i turn down sound look i think to myself look
> > 2 friends to each other - shut up no one wants
> > to listen to you anyway - speaking is no longer
> > performative - i embarrass myself - everything here
> > - a luxury - this instrument - this equipment -
> > what survives - within a decade i'll most likely
> > be dead - statistics - war on screens - sounds -
> > hating the sound of voices - continuations -
> > continuums - incendiary bombs contribute to global
> > warming - self hatreds blossom like bombs -
> > another luxury - answer phones - field calls -
> > the them - us - we - me - latest news - give -
> > donations don't stop bombs - suffer the guilty -
> > first ones to call innocent - broken birds -
> > plants - you understand me i don't understand me
> > at all - the me closes in on itself - a particle
> > - no bombardment - sky is our closest enemy -
> > save yourself - eliminate the i - this will not
> > end well they say - this will not end well - this
> > will not end at all -
> >
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