[NetBehaviour] The Long
Alan Sondheim
sondheim at panix.com
Fri Mar 22 13:28:10 CET 2024
The Long
https://youtu.be/zbndUZBzNdc video
Typing eyes closed: I try to convey what this form of covid
feels like, everything in slow motion, odd sleep, odd anxiety,
amazingly happy I can continue working. In the background of the
video is an image of the qifteli or cifteli, this one an unusual
3-string instrument, I believe Albanian with an eagle pickguard.
It's a bit rough in the making, but not bad and the frets are
accurate. I try to convey the 'mood' or whatever I'm in pretty
much all the time, not moving slowly, but having to focus, which
isn't impossible at all, but behind it there's an absolute
despair, just as on the surface, but penetrating, there's a joy
in these long improvisations, even though mistakes may be
made... it's a steading pulsation for me, a continuous murmur,
humming and changing constantly, but not too much, i never know
whether to capitalize the I or not, or whether it matters. long
covid apparently has moments of imminent and black fatigue, i
have that, it's random, i lie down for a while, maybe even an
hour, day or night, then back to work, to thinking, to the joy
of being with Azure, to walking somewhere which oddly affects
the cycle and things are normal and happy for the outing, and so
forth. i write this because everything i read about long covid
talks in fragments, incompletions, the only thing that
characterizes it, like perhaps a Duras film, is duration, and it
may or may not go away, and treatments are localized, temporary,
experimental, problematic. i think of it as the body's
exhaustion with itself, as if a deep neutrality with the world
settles in, but for me, the energy is there, the creativity, the
nervousness, the obsessiveness, the working until i can't any
longer, the care with shaping whatever it is i'm working on, no
matter how many times i have to start again, the audio/visuals
accompanying the writing or the writing accompanying the audio/
visuals, the writing gathers itself, turns inward, convolves,
churns, something else, the mind at work with language itself,
the stuff of it, and i hope i have something to say in these
months and months, already these seven months of care above all,
not Heidegger's, but ordinary care, daily care, and I thank
Azure and my friends so much for that, as i we continue to
collaborate, i'm never finished with anything, i'm never
.. .. ..
7c7
Typing eyes closed: I try to convey what this form of covid
---
Typing eyes closed: I try to convey what this forom of covid
10c10
video is an image of the qifteli or cifteli, this one an unusual
---
video is an image of the gifteli or cifteli, this one an unuusal
12c12
It's a bit rough in the making, but not bad and the frets are
---
It's a bit fough in the making, but not bad and the frets are
23c23
hour, day or night, then back to work, to thinking, to the joy
---
hour, dayr or night, then back to work, to thinking, to thejoy
28c28
characterizes it, like perhaps a Duras film, is duration, and it
---
characterizes it, like perhaps a Dura film, is duration, and it
31c31
exhaustion with itself, as if a deep neutrality with the world
---
exhuastion with itself, as if a deep neutrality with the world
35c35
matter how many times i have to start again, the audio/visuals
---
matter how many times i mave to start again, the audio/visuals
1c41
not Heidegger's, but ordinary care, daily care, and I thank
---
not Heideggers, but ordinary care, daily care, and I thhank
___
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